A law allowing Ohioans over 21 years old to purchase legal recreational marijuana went into effect last week, and some who oppose the measure are naturally predicting a Refeer Madness-type future for the Buckeye State. Legal and accepted are clearly two different things. Here, once again, cars come to the rescue.
The Republican legislature consciously avoided efforts to create a framework for marijuana sales in the state for four months, so now that it’s legal, there’s no place to buy it (except for in Michigan, which is where a lot of Ohio folks buy their weed right now, despite transportation across state lines being a federal crime). It was a last ditch effort to put off the will of the people for as long as possible, according to ABC. This clip comes to us from Heartland Signal, a news org covering the midwest. Aubree Adams is the director of anti-weed organization Every Brain Matters, and she has some fairly creative concerns about legal pot.
Of course, none of that is true, as anyone who lives in a legal state can attest. While there is some evidence that Marijuana can exacerbate pre-existing mental health conditions, it is far less addictive and less destructive than alcohol, which kills 140,000 Americans every year, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
Here in Michigan, we’ve had legal marijuana since December of 2019, and no marijuana bomb has gone off here (unless you count the tax revenue bomb). While residents of both states will insist Ohio and Michigan are nothing alike, let me assure you they are the exact same fucking place. Flat, filled with corn and distressed Rust Belt cities, with nothing better to do than to take college football personal and rehash the Toledo War, all while the actual worst state in the union, Indiana, goes unchecked.
I’m going to reach across the border and help my fellow midwesterners with all the experience of a two-time cancer patient and former hooligan in order to share the best cars to create your own weed bomb in the form of hot boxing with your besties. Once you can legally buy it, of course 😉
And just to be clear: cars serving as hot boxes are to remain stationary during and after the smoke sesh. Driving intoxicated is never cool, no matter what substance we’re talking about.
You should be proud of yourselves, Ohio. Not matter what Captain Bringdown and the Buzzkillers say about legalizing the stuff, weed prohibition has a long history of being used to repress America’s “undesirables” (people who aren’t white). while doing very little to protect anyone. You should be so proud, in fact, that you should celebrate by smoking local weed in a locally produced car.
Unfortunately, this is a limited time offer, as Accord production is heading to Indiana after four decades of Ohio manufacturing. (See what I mean? Fucking Indiana.)
Really, it could be any giant American sedan from between 1980 and 1995, but I’m going by personal experience here and proclaiming this car to be the best place for enjoying a J. Huge, with cushy powder blue seats so you can fit a ton of people in both the front and back, plus a nice long hood and big trunk to keep lookie-lous away. Bonus points for if it smells like cigarettes already, so you don’t need to worry about stanking up the upholstery.
You might want to babysit your Kia or Hyundai these days, especially if its one of the vehicles subject to the viral Kia Boyz style thefts. What better way to protect your Kia Soul than by constantly hanging out inside of it with your besties and toking? If it’s stolen often enough, you might just find some bonus weed stashed by a 15-year-old on a tear.
Another one we’re working on vibes and personal experience alone, the Chevy Malibu Maxx is number 4 on our list. Whether its the extra X, the early aughts bona fides, or the fact that it looks like a wagon designed by someone who was high, the Maxx is definitely an appropriate place to burn one down.
If you live in the U.S., I can almost guarantee you that there is a last-gen Pontiac vehicle parked within a five mile radius full of people smoking weed at any given time. The car brand died so these roving smoking lounges could live.
I can’t prove this scientifically, but I think boxy cars are better for smoking weed in. I just get this feeling. Maybe its like the THC particulates get caught in the corners or something.
Keep that party machine parked, my friends, and blast that small interior with smoke. Better than trying to sleep in it overnight in a bar parking lot. This little smoke show is great when you want to have that romantic evening sharing a blunt in a cramped old GM car.
It’s not always vape clouds that are wafting from a Subaru.
Weed is supposed to be for adults. But sometimes, age is just a number. If you’re over 21 and stuck at home with your roommates (parents) there is just one option: get twisted in your Mom’s Chrysler Pacifica.
Once again, Miata is the answer. The small space lends itself to a efficient smoke sesh. Find one with a hardtop for that extra sealed-in flavor.
What are the cops/nosy neighbors going to really do about a couple of chums parked in their Cadillac roasting some bones? Nothing, that’s what. These old Cadillacs get shit milage and will likely break down every 200 miles, but keep them parked in your driveway for a lush smoking experience.
